Thursday, September 23, 2010


Today I went to Stella's school a little early because they were having a pep rally to get the kids excited about the preschool program. Gigi had the day off so she got to come and experience all the excitement with me! Each week they have to wear a certain color, and they learn all about it. Like what letter it starts with, what products are that color, they sing songs about that color and do cheers. This week was orange!
Stella is in Toy Barn, each classroom got to run through a banner when they came into the Pep Rally, Stella thought that was pretty cool.
Her class sitting up on the stage.

I have to say that I love our Mother's Day Out program. I think that this has been wonderful for Stella and she learns so much. I am very grateful for her teachers and the time that they invest in my children and the break that they give me each week.

I know that I am really blessed at this moment because Stella is going through a very rough patch right now. Her behavior is kind of out of control and you never really know what is going to happen, there is no rhyme or reason to what will set her off, it can be something big or really little things. She is not just your run of the mill strong willed child, she is over the top. If she wants things to go her way, she can and will out last you. I have to work daily on figuring out how to turn her to do the things that I ask of her. I also have to make myself be stronger and out last her, which is NOT my personality at all but I know that if I do not show her that I am stronger and can out last her on important matters then she will walk all over me and have no respect for me as her mother. Also, she is 3, if I let her get away with this stuff now, then good heaven what will she be like as a teenager.
Stella has a wonderful personality in the fact that she lives out loud and she lives her life big, it is a wonderful beautiful thing to watch, but at the same time I think that she gets very frustrated because she is feeling things but does not yet know how to express those feelings to me and others. This leads to some of the problems that we are having at the moment of lashing out, hitting, and just all around being ugly to those around her. It can make for some really long and tiring days. I know in her heart that she does not mean any of the things that she does but I also have to teach her how to control all those emotions in her little body. It is a process for her and process for me and those around us.
I do think that at times that Stella does become over stimulated and needs to be removed from situations to one on one time so that she is able to get herself and her feelings back under control before we have issues. This is something that I am really working on recognizing in her when we are with other people and have a lot of things going on around us, that there might be moments that she is overwhelmed and just needs me to pull her to the side and help her calm down and feel OK with everything and everyone. It is a work in progress, we will figure it all out in time!
Also, I have to admit that we took away her passie three weeks ago and it went pretty well for the most part but yesterday I gave it back to her for nap and bedtime. Yes, everyone can tell me how horrible I am and that is fine but I feel that at this time it is best for Stella and that is all that really matters. The reason that I gave it back to her is that sense we took it from her nap time and bedtime have become a much larger process, with a lot more tears and less sleep. Stella is a child that needs sleep, she took three hour naps until we took the passie away and now is taking one and half hour naps, she would sleep for 10 to 12 hours at night and now is only doing about 7 to 8. This makes a huge impact on her behavior. Also, with all the things that are going on with her right now, the passie is her thing that calms her down, that really truly gives her comfort. She understands that the passie is only for bedtime and that she must be in bed to have one, to be honest twice yesterday I was doing stuff around the house and realized that she was not around me. I found her in her bedroom on her bed with her passie, I asked if she was OK and she said yes she just needed her passie for a moment. Like I said before that I think that there are moments that she just needs to be able to stop and get herself and her feelings under control, I feel that the passie is the thing that helps make her feel comfortable and safe. I just can not take that away from her at this time, I just feel that it is what is best for Stella and that is all that really matters. (It is not like she is taking it with her to college, I promise that she will not be sucking on it in a dorm room!)
This all being said, I am very grateful for the teachers that Stella has had and has at the moment. They have all been so willing to work with me and help me figure out what will work best for her. I know that it is not easy, its a daily struggle, they have families of their own to care for, but they take the time out of their week to bless my child with their love and I really do appreciate it beyond words.
So, for the time being we are just taking each day as it comes and praying for the Grace of God that he will lead me to be the best mother to this wonderful little girl that he has given me the blessing of calling my daughter.

To the Future Stella:
I wrote all of these things down today not to tell you that you were a horrible child but so that when you are a mother you will know that I had the same struggles and rough times, that it is all normal. I think that at times with this journal of our lives I want everything to be positive but I want you to understand that there are rough patches but through those rough patches we just grow to love you even more, if that is even possible. You are a tough child but you are a blessing that fills our life and others lives with so much laughter. You are going to do great things and I can not wait to watch it all unfold for you. I love you so much!

**Yes, Rhett goes to the same MDO program and his teachers are wonderful with him also, they are giving this mother's arm some rest and helping with the pain in her back from carrying around such a large load!


Connie said...

I LOVE how you put the "future" comment in there because you will be glad you put all this on there and Stella will also enjoy reading it when she is a mother too. I think it's just her age because Lauren has had more moments in the last few months than she ever has. I think they are just finding their place in the world and learning how to deal with it all. So you are doing a great job and I'm proud of you for documenting it all...not just the good times!

Lorena said...

You go MOM! You are wonderful!!! You are doing an awesome job! God Bless you always!